no longer mommy to be

To my fourth miracle,

Even though I never got to feel you move or carry you to term, from the moment I found out about you I was happy. I heard your heartbeat at 7 weeks for the first and only time and it was a great sound to hear. I don't know why you stopped growing two weeks later and yet I sit here heartbroken and full of questions. I wish you could have made it to full term so I could be meeting a wonderful miracle but I am thankful for the 9 weeks you were alive in me. I will miss you teribbly and wish everyday that you were still in my tummy. I know Oct. 18 is a long way off but I am dreading that day because I know that you were supposed to be born that day alive and healthy. I don't even know if you were a boy or girl but I do know that you would have been a great addition to the family. Your brothers and sister were so excited when I told them. I love you my fourth miracle and will miss u.

Your mommy