Thursday, April 4, 2013

one year

My angel in heaven,

I can't believe it has hit the one year mark since I had to say goodbye instead of hello. Time sure has gone by fast. I can remeber the day we found out about you and I was so excited while dreaming about the person you would have become if you were here. I can imagine that you would have given me a run for my money while being a joy in my life. I still dream about you daily and wonder what you are doing in heaven. I wonder if you are having fun with all of the relatives that have left us to soon. Yesterday I spend the day thinking about you and wondering why even though I know if will never be answered. Your siblings are a joy to be around and I wish you could have joined them. Mommy loves you down here on earth and I know that I will be with you one day. Have fun with everyone and look down on us from time to time. I love and miss you angel.

Your mommy

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

11 months

My dearest angel

I can't believe we are a month away from the year mark since you went to heaven. It doesn't seem possible. There isn't a day or second that I don't think about you but I know that you are having fun in heaven. I still dream about the person you would have become and wonder what it would be like to have you here. You would be at least four months if I would have went to term with you. I'm not looking forward to next month because it will be a year since I said goodbye without saying hello. I don't know how I will act that day but I know that it will have an effect on me. I'm just glad that I have your ultrasound pictures on the wall, at least I have proff that you were in me and alive at one time. Give everyone kisses for me and tell them I love them. I love and miss you everyday.

Your mommy

Thursday, February 7, 2013

10 months

My dearest Angel,

I know I'm late posting but mommy has been busy with your new sister. You were on my mind the whole time though so I didn't forget about you. I kept thinking about what it would have been like to have you here with us and meeting u like I did your sister. I know your having a ball up there but we could have a ball down here to. I can't believe we are getting closer to the one year mark. It doesn't seem like it should have been that long since you left this earth. I have gotten better about seeing pregnant ladies and newborns but it still hurts a little bit. I guess it always will even though I just went through it. You are always never far from my mind and heart. I love you angle and always will.

Your mommy

Sunday, January 6, 2013

9 months

My dearest Kennedy,

I can't believe youv'e been out of my uterus for nine months. It doesn't seem possible especially when that is the amount of a full term pregnany. I know you are having fun and getting spoiled in heaven but I still wish you were here with me. If you would have make it, you would be two months old now. I have dreams about the person you would have become and watching you grow up. There are days that I still have a hard time seeing babies but it is getting a little bit better. I will always remember you, love you, and miss you. You will always be one of my children. Every time that someone asks me how many children I have, I include you because you were mine from the moment I found out about you. Keep watching down on me. I love and miss you.

Your mommy

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Christmas and New Year

My angle in heaven,

I really missed you on Christmas day. I kept thinking all day about what it would be like to have a two month old to take care of and was missing it. I imagined helping you unwrap your presents while you tried eating the paper or playing with the noisy toys. I could see your siblings fighting over who was going to hold you and help with you. I know you had a great Christmas day in heaven with Jesus and our family members. I know everyone was spoiling you, I just wished that you could have been spoiled down here. I know that New Years will come and go but you will still be on my mind. I hope you are having fun up there angle, just don't forget mommy down here. I love and miss you angel.

Your mommy

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

8 months

Precious angel,

I can't believe it is to the 8 month mark. It doesn't seem possible. I wish you were here everyday. I cant help but keep thinking that I would have a baby to take care of if you wouldn't have left. I know your have fun in heaven but I'd rather have you here and taking care of you. I still have trouble looking at babies that were born around the time you were supposed to be without tearing up. It makes me think about you and the baby you would have been. Everytime I feel your sister move, I dream or think about you since I missed out on it with you. My angel I love and miss you everyday. Keep watching down on me.

Your mommy

Saturday, November 24, 2012


Precious angel,

I hope you had a great first thanksgiving in heaven. I missed you bad that day my angel. I kept thinking about what it would have been like to take care of you like I should have been doing. I know the family would have spoiled you and you would have loved it. I know that you are being spoiled up in heaven everyday but it isn't the same thing. I'd rather have you here instead of there. I wanted to be able to take care of you and get to know the precious baby you would have become. I wanted to watch you grow up and make me proud of the adult you would have become. I dream about you and everything I know you would have done or accomplished. Every time I feel your sister move and kick, it warms my heart because I think of you and what it would have felt like to feel you do that inside me. I feel robbed because I didn't get that far with you or even have the chance to hold and love on you. I love and miss you my angel.

Your mommy